He is a vacuum – “he” is a hole,

He is all that is lost and gone from my soul

He is an absence, the thing that I miss,

He is the missing ingredient for bliss

He is the heart to my broken machine,

He is the water I need to be clean

Why does his absence affect – injure me so?

How comes no comfort, but seeing him go?

 

He is a charger, on time and so fast,

I only dawdle, and come round at the last

He is forever, and infinite – real,

I am a vapor, I drift and I steal

He – like a god is up and away,

But my heart – oh, she falters, and waves from the bay

When first my eyes open a crack,

I see through the door what is left of his back

 

Why I should mind him I hardly can tell,

But for the heartbreak of missing so well

This one that I know by feeling him gone,

I wake from a daydream for the loss of the song

This thing that I long for in the bowels of “me,”

This piece never had, yet I know is the key

Oh, I know, and I feel, and heart witness bears,

Without him I’m no one, belonging nowheres…

 

But he – How to find the words that belong?

He is the meaning and the heart of each song

He is the peace that soul waits for and longs for,

He is full depth – eternity’s encore

He is always my light, though the days may seem dark,

He is the rainbow shining over the ark

The songs of his organ, yet unplayed and unstrung,

Are more beautiful than any that ever were sung

 

How strange is this knowing through a space that is silent,

This sight without “seeing,” this smell without scent

How odd that our love is called out in darkness,

We’re told to walk on – in spite of this blindness

Is there a sense not hitherto known,

That must in the darkness, and silence be grown?

Why must some things be hidden from sight

Why do the gods in their gardens, dance only at night?

 

Or is it that truly they walk plain as the day

And we – blind to their voices, and laughter so gay?

Is it only our eyes, under brightness are blind

And their words, our deaf ears simply can’t find?

Is it that only by walking through dark

Our senses expand, and ears tune to hark,

And in quieter absence soul wakens to find

The lights she had missed before she went blind?

 

How these things go, souls only can tell,

Who have traveled for miles and know darkness well

And I, for myself, can tell only this –

Of a heart that is longing, and the thing that I miss

Though my eyes see not much, they still follow a rainbow,

And though I walk in the dark, there’s a light in his shadow

I care not if they say, “It’s a little extreme!”

For my heart, she belongs to the man in a dream.

 

~ Beth Frances 🌸

Job 19:25

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